“My son has finished the course with bad grades”


The school has finished, and although the grades that our children have obtained should be somewhat secondary if the effort has prevailed throughout the course, the truth is that a topic that worries parents a lot; especially if the grades have not been good.

If your child has suspended several subjects, you may feel frustrated and disappointed right now, and do not know how to address the issue: what is in your hand to help you improve for the next course?

We have spoken with Ana Asensio, a doctor in Neuroscience, a child psychologist and author of Lives in Positive. From his training and experience, he has offered us a series of tips to act in the face of poor academic results obtained by our children.

1. Lean on school and teachers

The first advice that Ana Asensio offers us is to know the specific needs of our child, in order to put the appropriate solutions that help the child to improve the results. In this sense, fluid communication with the school is essential.

So, if the dialogue with the school has been continuous during the course, it is likely that we were already aware of their final notes and that we have even worked side by side with the teachers in these months.

But it may happen that, for various reasons, the child has “punctured” in the last quarter and the report card has taken us by surprise. Given this, the expert advises trying to find out the causes of their grades, and talk carefully with the child’s teacher and the center psychologist to know how we can help.

2. Is your child distracted in class? Search the cause!

On other occasions, poor grades are linked to dispersed behavior in the classroom. These are children who do not listen to the teacher’s explanations, who are distracted by anything, who are always talking with the classmate, or who even alter the rhythm of the class.

If this is the case with your child, Ana advises to find out the reasons that lead the child not to focus his attention on what happens inside the classroom:

  • It may simply be a matter of maturation. In this case, the child will find in other distractions, more attractive and fun things.
  • It may also happen that for some undiagnosed reason, the child loses the rhythm of the class and is not able to re-engage.
  • In other cases, it could be high capacities or giftedness, since gifted children who are not sufficiently motivated in the classroom tend to lose attention.
  • Or it could also be due to a series of emotional problems that the child is experiencing, and that will lead him to be more stressed and distracted.

Whatever it is, it is important not to miss it and if necessary, put yourself in the hands of professionals.

3. Establish a homework routine

Although, fortunately, more and more schools are committed to project work and the involvement and prominence of the student in their own learning , there are still centers with a deep-rooted classical teaching methodology, which leads some students to lose interest in class or to show difficulties when it comes to keeping up with the tasks that are sent.

The expert believes that on many occasions, after “I do not like going to school” there is hidden apathy for homework, the duties that must be done at home and the demand to have to learn and pay attention to certain content or subjects.

If you think that it may be the case of your child, Ana Asensio encourages parents to establish a work environment from home, to help the child gradually internalize a routine of tasks and effort. In this sense, it is essential to create a habit of study from an early age, always doing homework in the same place and at the same time, keeping your desk tidy and following a series of guidelines that facilitate the task.

4. Intelligence is not linked to high marks

Another of the important points that the expert wants to demystify is the false belief that still prevails in society and that relates the “bad grades” with the “little intelligence”. Nothing is further from reality, and Ana insists on the importance of having this premise very clear.

The fact that our son has obtained poor school results does not mean that he is not intelligent. There are many factors that may be behind low grades, such as a topic of behavior, maturity, motivation, lack of routine and effort …

As we said at the beginning, it is important to find out the cause and work it out.

5. Don’t compare your children

We all know that each child is unique and that we should never compare them, neither in matters of study nor in any other plot. But the truth is that when we have more than one child it is difficult not to fall into comparisons, especially if they are at opposite poles.

However, each child must feel special for what he is, and parents have to accept that each one will have a different rhythm and way of being. Comparisons not only do not lead to anything but can make a dent in the relationship between siblings, in addition to strongly undermining the child’s self-esteem.

6. Incentive, motivation, and help

Ana emphasizes the importance of encouraging, motivating and encouraging the child to study as much as possible, and overcome their bad grades, especially in those subjects in which they have more difficulties.

“A positive reinforcement program or an external rewards program can be established. This will be done until the internal reinforcement is installed, and the child reaches sufficient maturity to feel more satisfaction for their own results as a result of their effort and work. , that for the external prize, this greatly promotes self-esteem, self-control, and security.

7. Value the option of a tutor

It may happen that despite the help provided by the school and the guidelines we apply from home, our child fails to improve his grades. In this case, the expert advises parents to assess the option of finding a reinforcement tutor, who empathizes with the child’s needs, is respectful of him and offers him a motivation to start studying:

“Sometimes it is difficult for the child to get out of that bad time without extra help. Sometimes, parents work throughout the day and may not be as aware of their child as they would like, or it may happen that the child is entering in specific subjects or of a certain level, that parents are not able to assume. The tutor can also be the best option when there are conflicts between parents and children because children reveal themselves and do not want to sit down to study or do homework ” – explains the expert.

The tutor can help the child with the specific subjects with which he has difficulties, as well as teach him to study techniques (how to make summaries, mind maps, files …) that help him improve in his work and create a study habit.

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